Love Yourself.

Don’t you hate it when your mind showers you with negative thoughts that attack your self-esteem? Or when you can’t seem to think of any good memories to comfort you?

Humans are strange like that, we all have self destructive minds. There will be a time in your life when you will be at your lowest. It happens to the best of us, eventually.

Let me share a short story with you.

At some point in time, a child, let’s call him T, thought he had his life figured out. This infant thought his life would continue smoothly onto a straight path. He was wrong. He was kinesthetically intelligent, as well as poetically clever. He came out number 1 in a karate tournament in 04’, made it into an intercity AA basketball team and got twelve thousand views on one of his dancing videos on Youtube.

T loved writing cheesy stories and poems just for himself. He never showed anyone. Every birthday greeting he wrote for his parents made them shed tears of joy. He was so good at these things. But he made the mistake of striving towards only one of his desires.

Leaving out the other two from his daily routines, he slowly became absorbed in competitive gameplay of video games. It got in the way of his relationships, education, and both physical and mental health. As his hours on the virtual reality increased, the time spent for anything else decreased. His friends stopped inviting him when they would hang out, stopped inviting him to parties, and people simply stopped talking to him.

His parents fought a lot and almost had a divorce. They even had to sell their house and move into a small condo. Everything seemed to be going wrong in his life; all at the same time. Once he hit puberty, this adolescent began to see the world through a set of dark lenses. Everything he had seen and experienced, whether it was good or bad, he saw in a neutral or negative perspective. His emotions would always be capped when something happened.

When I say “ capped “, I mean that there was a certain amount of emotion he would allow himself to express. T wouldn’t really allow himself to truly feel happy because, for an unknown reason, it didn’t seem right anymore. He kept his feelings bottled up by staying indifferent about everything.

It had him to focus on all the wrong things, such as the imperfections on his body, things he wasn’t good at or things he couldn’t do, and worst of all, he started comparing himself to people that were succeeding at the things he was failing.

In result, T ended up seeing a psychologist for a year because of his morbid lifestyle. His sad mind turned into depression. He wasn’t capable of enjoying this thing called life. For instance, when he received gifts from anyone, he would smile and he would show gratitude. But in reality, his smile was a mask that hid the emptiness inside of him. He would always judge himself. Fortunately, in the end he got through it.

I’m not going to lie and tell you he’s living happily ever after. But with the support of his family and friends, he saw himself and everything around him in a more positive perspective. Nobody is really ever free from problems, but if I can get through these depressing events, so can you. I have just recently started to actually feel happy. I had made a list. In this list I wrote down things that I have. After reading the entire list, I realized that I have everything I need to be happy. This list of things and people were always in front of my eyes, but I always took them for granted. I have always focused on the negative things.

Go out there and enjoy life. Become that person you’ve always wanted to be.

One day, I read a quote saying that the person you will be spending the most time with in your life is yourself, so try to make yourself as interesting as possible. I hope you realize that some day, whoever you are.

Learn new things, travel, be happy with whatever you do.

Life isn’t tied with a bow, but it’s still a gift.

One step At A Time

It hit me. As I strummed the chords on my guitar, it hit me.I’ve grown old and I’ll continue to get older until my last breath.

With that thought in mind, I took a deep breath and stared at the horizon for a few minutes. I closed my eyes. That thought quietly faded away. All I heard at that moment were the sounds of the birds singing and the water massaging the lakeshore.

A short moment of serenity.

I was suddenly in my own world. I realized how happy I was living in the suburban area; away from the city. I think there was some event in my life that automatically correlates the city with stress. Maybe it’s the way people drive there, or maybe I just watched too many episodes of C.S.I. as a child. My bubble was rudely bursted by some teen that just got his driving permit. He rode his scooter intensely. As he leaned forward, he revved his little black fart can to the point where everyone in the vicinity would turn in disgust. I saw it in their faces. They were all the same. The pedestrians on the sidewalk, the skaters, the mailman and even the old man watering his lawn. The volume of his scooter decreased as the thought of getting old shuffled its way back in my conscience. There were so many things I worried about. Like, when was I going to find a partner that would fulfil my needs? I wasn’t looking the perfect person. But, a best friend that would complete the missing half in my life. It’s hard to find that when you’re an introvert in a world where extroverts are more successful in the dating department. When was I going to travel to Europe or to the West Coast of America? I was always amazed to see pictures of beautiful places, but I would really like to visit them and see these locations in person. I wouldn’t know if I’d ready for all these adult responsibilities.

School hasn’t taught me how to pay for taxes, rent or even keep a budget. Instead, it taught me how to solve a math problem involving seventy three giant watermelons. But how does that help me in real life? Who in their right mind would buy that many watermelons anyway? We either learn how to do said things on our own or from someone we know. At my age, people already have their sights on what they want to do as career. Not me. People who tried giving me advice always seemed to repeat the same thing. “Go into something you’re interested.” I hated hearing that mainly because what I was interested in was video games. I wasn’t going to make a living out of video games. I wanted to do something great with my life. I got stuck every time this topic came up. It drove me insane because there are so many options explore. But what if it doesn’t work out at the end?

Time is precious considering that from the day we take our first breath, it already starts counting down. If you came here looking for advice, all I can tell you is be happy with what you already have. Not everybody you meet has everything planned out. You can and you will get through this. Considering our species, it is our job to keep evolving.

As long as you keep moving forward, everything will come into place at its own speed. One step at a time!

Positive friendships.

I just finished having a great talk with one of my close friends,

We were never really that close, until last year. Let me just say that I’ve never thought he’d be someone I would call a best friend. We are polar opposites, Introvert vs Extrovert. But there is this deep connection we have now. The stream of consciousness flows so smoothly uphill. I say “uphill” because we constantly find things to talk about and our conversations never get stale. There are very few human beings I can freely express my thoughts to. Since I am an introvert, expressing my feelings was never my strong point. Whether it would be verbally or physically. I would stay as neutral as possible so that people wouldn’t be able to read me.

I can say that knowing him has forged me into a better self. We can talk about anything. From something as serious as life goals and relationships to something cringe worthy as embarrassing moments.

Today, confidence is something I can pull off. Im not as selfish and I don’t see life as a negative experience as I once did.

I guess what I am trying to say is find someone who will bring you up and help you improve on becoming a better you. Find that person, cherish them and don’t ever let them go because they are a needle in the hay stack. Once you accomplish that, you will be able to get through anything together. Life only gets better there. Just remember not to take it for granted.